I grew up and I actually fulfilled my self-declared duties as a parent to everyone, I made my brothers do homework, taught them how to behave , at 14 I talked about biological needs of men n women to a younger and inquisitive brother, when he was 14 I explained abt AIDS , intimacy etc ....I would do the same for a 4.5 year older brother too....
Soon I was a mother to my mother and stood by her and made her take some really tough decisions , my friends started to call me granny when I was 17 and friend's patents started to trust me with their daughters ....I went on giving , I went on playing a role that was not mine . Since I was the mother now, in relationships I started to look for a person who would fill the role of my father not my partner ....I kept on finding friends who needed a mother n a care taker not a friend and I wondered why do I have friends who are always dependant on me .
And one day something happened ,abt 8 years ago which forced me to look for myself, it took me many years and many learnings , many hours of introspections , so much of self work to realize who I was , I was not the mother, not the the granny , not the social worker , I was ME.
I realized I lost my childhood that night , I realized I never played as a child , I realized the more I wanted to heal n help others as a healer and as a therapist or as a friend and as a sister or a daughter or a mother how much I was going away from myself and also others. I realized you can only help and heal those who truly want to be healed, you can not force anyone to become better or worse, you just need to be there .
Now I see many parents who come to me who are worried about their children , I see siblings coming to me wanting to help another sibling....and I remember myself.
It's painful to see a dear one in pain but unless he takes the medication he won't get rid of pain , you can't have the medicine on someone's behalf and expect them to heal.
I see parents telling their elder child that take care of your brother/ sister ....Parents who keep making choices and decisions for their children , trying to control them, they do it out of care and worry but I think it's time we watch our thoughts , we watch how we raise our kids , it's time we realize a child is another being with his or her own journey , we can walk with them , we can't walk their path for them .
Realize a child needs to learn his own lessons , go through his own journey ....we should give them what they need and walk with them holding their hand when they need us, helping them to be back on their feet when they go through tough lessons , we can't tell them what path to choose .....Wake up to spiritual parenting ....let's raise beautiful beings , let's nurture the soul as much as we nurture their physical n material needs , that's what would make a difference!!!